Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach: Adriana

Hello!

 

My name is Adriana, I am a life coach based in Toronto, Canada. I empower my clients worldwide to heal from narcissistic abuse, emotional and mental abuse, toxic family dynamics, and the emotional, mental and physical pain that comes along with it.

 

I have witnessed, first hand, the amazing transformations my clients have made after only working together for a short time. That's the beauty of coaching! It's a fast-track way to truly heal, when you learn the tools needed to unlock that confidence and potential from someone who has been through it themselves and spent years of their life trying different strategies and modalities to heal.

I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Environmental and Health Studies, a Mindbody Fitness Coach certificate, a Professional Life Coach certificate, and a Stress Management Coach certificate. Fancy pieces of paper out of the way, I admit I never thought I would be a narcissistic abuse recovery coach! I did the degree thing and figured I'd be stuck in the corporate world and that's just how life would be. And then one day, this idea of being a life coach kinda crept up on me and showed itself as my purpose.

 

I've been coaching since 2019 after undergoing my own dark night of the soul, so to speak, and transformation after a lifetime of narcissistic abuse and 4-year struggle with chronic pain. I have truly been there in my life, and decided to use my experience to help as many people as possible to recover. 

 

I truly believe that no matter how much emotional abuse you have been through, no matter how much physical chronic pain you are in, no matter how brainwashed you may have been as a child, you have the power to heal and transform from all those wounds. I don't even know you (yet), but I already know you have that power. My purpose as your coach is to shine the light through the darkness you are going through because I too, went through that darkness.

 

You do not have to suffer alone. Most people do not know how to heal from narcissistic abuse, I had no idea myself. I thought I would just be scarred for life after figuring out I was raised by a narcissistic mother. I went through years of what seemed like never-ending therapy, yoga, meditation, and seeking for the next best thing to feel better.

 

After 4 years of chronic physical pain (a manifestation of my repressed emotions from childhood), I learned that healing was possible.

How It All Started For Me

My journey with chronic pain and decades of emotional/mental confusion as a result of narcissistic personalities in my life were what led me to discover my true passion of helping others. 

 

I truly believed, for most of my life, that something was wrong with me. I believed something was wrong with me mentally, emotionally, physically, as a person in general, in my personality, I thought my brain must have been broken. I wasn't really sure what was wrong with me, but I believed something wasn't quite right with me. I felt "different". I never truly related to most of the people in my life. As a child, I battled feelings of inadequacy from as early on as I can remember. I had a very unconventional and toxic family dynamic.

 

This dynamic included a very up and down relationship with my mother, and being completely alienated from my father and believing he was a complete monster for most of my life (this ended up being a result of early childhood brainwashing). I was also thrust into a  caregiver role from age 7 and onward for my elderly grandparents, plus daily schoolyard bullying from ages 7-13. Needless to say, my childhood sucked.

 

This "life sucks" mentality carried on into my adulthood - until I made a life-changing discovery very early on in 2014, which I had no idea at the time, would completely change the course of my life as I knew it. 

 

It was around Valentine's day in 2014. There I was, ending another relationSHIT with someone who told me I was the most amazing person ever only to be nothing just a few months later. It was a very quick relationshit, but a complete mindfuck. I googled this behaviour because I was so confused and it wasn't the first time I encountered this situation in a relationship.

 

At this point I was once again, wondering what the hell was wrong with me and why I was never good enough for anyone, how could people be so cruel, would I ever be good enough, and WHY did this keep happening?

 

The behaviour I googled turned out to be narcissism. I always thought narcissism meant someone who just liked to look at themselves in the mirror and was extremely vain. But my google rabbit hole proved there was way more to it, and it's not just a buzzword to be thrown around when we don't like how someone is behaving.

 

At this point, I realized I had been getting into relationships with narcissistic personality types both on a romantic level, friendships, and even in my jobs. I began to see the pattens. As I deep-dived into the world of narcissistic abuse—the signs, etc.—I made the biggest discovery of my life—I was raised by a narcissistic mother. HOLY SHIT! This was the reason I kept getting into relationships with narcissists and attracting the same dynamic into my life in my friendships and work environments. I knew literally nothing else! 

How It All Started For Me

My journey with chronic pain and decades of emotional/mental confusion as a result of narcissistic personalities in my life were what led me to discover my true passion of helping others. 

 

I truly believed, for most of my life, that something was wrong with me. I believed something was wrong with me mentally, emotionally, physically, as a person in general, in my personality, I thought my brain must have been broken. I wasn't really sure what was wrong with me, but I believed something wasn't quite right with me. I felt "different". I never truly related to most of the people in my life. As a child, I battled feelings of inadequacy from as early on as I can remember. I had a very unconventional and toxic family dynamic.

 

This dynamic included a very up and down relationship with my mother, and being completely alienated from my father and believing he was a complete monster for most of my life (this ended up being a result of early childhood brainwashing). I was also thrust into a  caregiver role from age 7 and onward for my elderly grandparents, plus daily schoolyard bullying from ages 7-13. Needless to say, my childhood sucked.

 

This "life sucks" mentality carried on into my adulthood - until I made a life-changing discovery very early on in 2014, which I had no idea at the time, would completely change the course of my life as I knew it. 

 

It was around Valentine's day in 2014. There I was, ending another relationSHIT with someone who told me I was the most amazing person ever only to be nothing just a few months later. It was a very quick relationshit, but a complete mindfuck. I googled this behaviour because I was so confused and it wasn't the first time I encountered this situation in a relationship.

 

At this point I was once again, wondering what the hell was wrong with me and why I was never good enough for anyone, how could people be so cruel, would I ever be good enough, and WHY did this keep happening?

 

The behaviour I googled turned out to be narcissism. I always thought narcissism meant someone who just liked to look at themselves in the mirror and was extremely vain. But my google rabbit hole proved there was way more to it, and it's not just a buzzword to be thrown around when we don't like how someone is behaving.

 

At this point, I realized I had been getting into relationships with narcissistic personality types both on a romantic level, friendships, and even in my jobs. I began to see the pattens. As I deep-dived into the world of narcissistic abuse—the signs, etc.—I made the biggest discovery of my life—I was raised by a narcissistic mother. HOLY SHIT! This was the reason I kept getting into relationships with narcissists and attracting the same dynamic into my life in my friendships and work environments. I knew literally nothing else! 

Finally a Healthy Relationship

With that discovery about where my relationships stemmed from, for a while my life seemed to be in a scary yet wonderful turmoil. I didn't know who what I could trust anymore, but I knew this was a good discovery as it would give me the opportunity to change my patterns - as horrifying and scary as it felt at the time.

 

The first thing I did was that I reconnected with my estranged father. The man who I thought completely rejected me and did not want anything to do with me despite his attempts to contact me throughout my childhood. I wanted nothing to do with him, I was programmed to hate him. This is called parental alienation. It turned out he wasn't such a bad guy as I was made to believe. We now speak on a regular basis and I am so glad I made the discovery when I did.

 

The next wonderful thing that came out of my discovery was meeting my amazing husband not long after. I got to heal from that old relationship pattern as soon as I healed my relationship with my father. Finally something in my life went right! Funny how that works, eh?

 

However - my healing journey was far from over. I couldn't help but feel like every other aspect of my life—my upbringing, my sense of self—were all lies. Who even was I anymore? 

Chronic Pain Begins

In 2015 however, I ended up being too distracted to care about this because this was my introduction to the world of chronic pain. 

 

In June 2015, after a basic wisdom tooth extraction, I began to experience chronic pain in my jaw and regular migraines. For the next 4 years, things escalated and increasingly got worse. I eventually developed ulcers, carpal tunnel syndrome, neck kyphosis, disc degeneration, tendonitis, arthritis, and, by October 2018 at age 30—shingles in my mouth—while getting my jaw realigned with an ALF appliance and braces in an attempt to ward off the migraines. 

 

Shingles is an extremely painful reactivation of the chicken pox virus we get as children. It's considered one of the most painful things someone can endure. It’s also very uncommon and, when it does occur, it tends to be in one's senior years and often triggered by stress. It’s really not supposed to happen to someone who is 30 years old.

 

The shingles would then cause me to have trigeminal neuralgia. This is a severe nerve pain that affects one side of the face/head. It’s also nicknamed the suicide disease because of how painful it is. After four years with all the pain I already experienced, and now TN added to the mix, I had had enough.

Pain Free at Last!

By January 2019, my pain and desperation eventually lead me to the work of Dr. John Sa rno and his theory of Tension Myositis Syndrome. In a nutshell, anyone who has chronic pain has had some form of childhood trauma, which results in a lifetime of repressed emotions. When these emotions get repressed, they go nowhere, they stay in the body and manifest as chronic pain or other chronic illnesses that are not life threatening but have no cure (for example, eczema, IBS, skin or stomach issues). 

 

I didn't believe in this theory at first, however, I was so desperate for pain relief and already tried everything else. I decided I had nothing to lose so I gave doing the inner work a shot even though I was pretty offended by the concept. This was absolutely the best decision I had ever made in my life. After only 4 months of doing the work, by April 2019, I was completely PAIN-FREE! 

Saying "Yes" to Getting Support

The road to my recovery was not easy. I went way too fast, re-traumatized myself, had no one to talk to about it and, I was extremely confused the majority of the time. I went to traditional therapy and even took medication in an attempt to help.

 

What I really wished I had, was some kind of coach to guide me through this process. Someone who had truly been where I was in life, who came out on the other side of the pain, to tell me I would be okay and hold space for me and shine the light for me instead of what conventional models were offering me as they clearly were not helping at all. I knew my childhood trauma was all related to the narcissistic and emotional abuse. It all made sense. Yet because of the conditioning that narcissistic abuse instilled in me, my healing was a wild rollercoaster ride. 

 

When I finally found my own life coach, I was able to heal even more - beyond just healing from pain. To this day I still work with 2 of my own life coaches. I realized how important it is to have someone who has been through their own dark night of the soul to guide you, give you hope that you can overcome anything, shine the light through the darkness, and keep you accountable to your goals. This is something I never had initially from the traditional model, and I can't stress enough how valuable my coaches have been for me and my transformation.

 

Knowing what I know now, I am inspired to help as many people as possible to take their power back, create their own footsteps instead of following in another person's footsteps, and this is why I am a coach. I offer one on one coaching, and I have written a book to help you do the inner emotional work on your own. I've also created a digital course, on how to heal. My own healing journey inspired me to create this page, create a 1:1 coaching experience for whoever is ready to make big shifts, create my book and course, so that I can help as many people as possible to heal from whatever they have gone through.

If You Feel Called to Work With Me,
Please Visit Any of the Links Below for More Information! 

Sign up for my
12 Week Group Coaching Program

Download my free
F*** This Shift Journaling Guide 

Register for the
Create Your Own Closure Webinar

Sign up for the
Setting & Keeping Boundaries Bootcamp

Want to Get Your Shift Together?

How working with me will help you.

 

With everything I have gone through, I know first hand what is needed for chronic pain (both physical and emotional) and narcissistic abuse recovery. What I had to learn the hard way was that I needed to change my thought process about pain and rewire my brain altogether. This also meant rewiring my brain from what I learned in childhood. My people-pleasing and perfectionistic tendencies all stemmed from my childhood and being raised by a narcissist. 

 

On my healing journey, I learned what pain really is, how the brain interprets it, and how to apply those principles to my own thought process. This concept is easy enough to understand but the work itself is quite uncomfortable, especially if you're tackling it by yourself. My job in our one on one coaching work together is to hold space for you on your healing journey, keep you on track at a comfortable but effective pace, and keep you accountable to reach your goal of a pain-free life both physically and emotionally. 

I can help you identify and release trapped emotions that you didn't know you were repressing for all these years. If you suffer from chronic pain or illnesses, and you've ruled out anything life-threatening with your doctor, then you can definitely benefit from doing this emotional work. The emotional work not only helps with pain, but in the case of someone who has been narcissistically abused for years, it will help you gain confidence in yourself, stop attracting more narcissists into your life, and finally start living your best life once and for all!

By working with me, you will gain all the tools and expertise that you need to be able to:

  • Identify and release repressed emotions

  • Identify and break belief systems that do not serve you

  • Learn how to love yourself

  • Learn how to honour yourself and let go of the beliefs, conditioning, anger, fear, shame, sadness and whatever else is holding you back

  • Identify and change the patterns that have kept you feeling stuck

  • Set healthy boundaries and ensure they do not get crossed

  • Heal from narcissistic abuse

  • Learn how to deal with a narcissistic personality type in any setting

  • Learn how to stand up for yourself​

  • Embrace and heal your inner child

  • Be more present, centred, and able to take on anything life throws at you

  • Heal, survive, and THRIVE from your childhood wounds and chronic physical pain!


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